Having an orgasm tends to be an amazing experience, but many women struggle to have one. Research shows that up to 40% of women have trouble achieving orgasm, and orgasms only come easily for somewhere around 10% of women. If there’s one thing these statistics make clear, it’s that if you’ve been struggling in this area, you’re not alone.
You’ll also want to understand that just because many women have trouble achieving orgasm, this isn’t necessarily a lost cause. There are things you can do to improve your chances of having an orgasm.
Tense your muscles
Tensing your pelvic, leg, abdominal, and buttocks muscles can be really important in helping you achieve orgasm. In fact, sometimes it’s even necessary. For some women, tensing the feet or upper body can be helpful, too. Curious how and why this works? Muscle tension brings more blood to that part of the body, and this increased blood flow is an important step in reaching orgasm—just a small percentage of women are able to orgasm without any tension in the body. Next time you’re having intercourse, experiment with tensing your muscles and see if it helps you orgasm more quickly or easily.
Sure, this might be a bit confusing because we just told you about the importance of tensing your muscles. But when we say “relax” here, this isn’t necessarily about relaxing your muscles—it’s more about relaxing your mind. Rather than overthinking and letting anxiety build, try to let your mind focus on the feelings and sensations that are taking place. If a thought arises, simply let it go rather than letting it distract you from whatever you’re experiencing. Anxious and negative thoughts inhibit arousal, rather than encourage it.
If you can’t seem to let your mind relax, focus on a positive phrase to keep your mind busy but not distracted. Another tip is to be mindful of your breathing. Pay attention to your breath as you breathe in and out and take note if you start feeling calmer and more relaxed—this tends to be a great way to get rid of distracting thoughts.
Be clear with your partner
Clear communication is a key step in achieving orgasm. This means letting your partner know what feels good to you and what doesn’t, as well as being honest with them when you’re feeling distracted during sexual intercourse or having trouble reaching orgasm.
Masturbation is a great way to explore your body and find out what stimulates and turns you on. For some women this is a really helpful way to figure out what feels good to you without the stress of having your partner present.
If you would like to meet with a knowledgeable doctor, consider contacting Arizona OB/GYN Affiliates (AOA) at 602-343-6174 or visit www.aoafamily.com. We have offices in Phoenix, Ahwatukee, Casa Grande, Goodyear, Scottsdale, Gilbert, and Chandler.